Discovering and choosing a university that fulfills all of my needs was a rigorous yet exciting task. The Ivy U clearly emerged as the best choice for me and I, as a great match for the university. After visiting the campus, reading the information pamphlet, and researching the university website, I realize that Ivy offers what I hope to gain from my college experience. In return, I will contribute to the university as a person with leadership qualities who takes initiative and enjoys participating in school events.
For many years, I have wanted to become a midwife, and the Ivy School of Nursing stands out as the premium institution for such training. The university's close proximity to many hospitals will familiarize me with patients and hospital life, allowing me the best training possible.
As an individual, I will thrive in the intimate and familiar environment of the nursing school, one of Ivy's smallest schools. Coming from a small high school, I was greatly impressed by my visit to the campus, where I noticed the close relationships between the professors and students, and the strong family feeling within the nursing school.
The location of Ivy's nursing school within the large campus of Ivy's other schools offers myriad benefits. Firstly, I will have the opportunity to take classes in any of the other schools at Ivy, and this seamless academic integration will allow me to pursue my interests outside of nursing.
In addition to academic breadth, there are a greater variety of extra-curricular activities available on the larger campus. I am excited about continuing my interests in sports and theater. I have played on my high school's varsity volleyball team for two years and I plan to play volleyball throughout college in Ivy's women's club volleyball. I also performed in The Sound of Music in high school and the Teatron will allow me to actively participate in theater.
As president of the student council, I have always promoted school spirit, and I intend to continue my enthusiastic involvement throughout my college career. My school places a large emphasis on test grades and homework, creating a serious mood throughout the school. As president, I have tried to enrich the school experience by planning events such as school lunches and interesting field trips. I have learned through my role as president to take charge, delegate responsibilities, be creative, innovative, exciting, and take responsibility. I hope to use these attributes to contribute to many of the clubs and activities offered at Ivy.
At the beginning of this school year, I took the initiative and single-handedly started a need-based tutoring service to pair weaker students with scholastically competent seniors and juniors. Approximately thirty students have been successfully paired and my school has permanently adopted this program. I am thrilled to know that Ivy has a tutoring service to help immigrants and political refugees in West Philadelphia where I can continue tutoring while in college.
I have chosen to apply early decision to the Ivy School of Nursing for I realize that Ivy is the perfect university for me. A college is ultimately as good as the students who attend, and as a well-rounded student who excels academically, socially, and in her extra curricular activities, I feel that I will add to and learn from Ivy and its flourishing environment. I function most effectively in a small academic setting and will derive all the benefits of the university's intimate yet rich campus. I truly believe that I will fulfill my potential by attending the University of Ivy.
This essay provides a window into the applicant’s evaluation process. The question asks the student to explain how she will contribute as a student at Ivy U. This applicant uses her intro paragraph to do double duty. First, she lays out how she determined that Ivy U is a great match for her college education.The adcom learns about her efforts to critically evaluate this decision: in-person observations through a campus visit and online research to discover university resources. Second, the applicant gives a preview into what she offers the campus community - her past track record of school involvement and her leadership skills.
Minor critique: The first two lines seem a bit repetitive and could have been written by any student, not just this student. I would urge this applicant to personalize the beginning more, while still answering the question.
The applicant links her career aspirations to university resources. The student sees a future for herself as a midwife, and Ivy U as the premium institution to make that possible. She lists the following advantages: proximity to major hospitals, the nursing school’s small size, and access to other academic areas to pursue further interests.
Minor critique: I would have liked to see more curiosity about aspects of her intended career to explore at Ivy U. What questions would she want to ask her professors? Has she done any research that she could further explore? Is there a mentorship program that is really unique to Ivy U?
The essay offers a convincing picture of the applicant’s campus involvement. Her enthusiasm for community involvement shines through in the second portion of the essay. Fantastic job! - as this was the main question asked. Past performance often predicts future behavior, and she clearly identifies how she can realistically continue her volleyball and theater interests at Ivy U. She also brings up her student council experience, and digs deeper into the impact she had that uplifted her school community. It’s evident she would thrive in Ivy U’s special interest clubs.
Minor critique: She could have named one or two specific clubs she’d be interested in joining.
The applicant shows ‘new idea’ leadership in this essay. Ivy U’s typically don’t want just joiners – they want innovators. By discussing her tutoring program, this applicant did a great job showing how she can take an idea and make it a reality – with a positive benefit on the people around her.
Minor critique: If she is really interested in the Ivy U tutoring program – I’d like to see here how she could push it forward a bit more. Could she research potential grants or best practices in tutoring immigrants? Or introduce something like financial literacy or group dinners?
She justifies her Early Decision application. In the final paragraph, the applicant shows her commitment to Ivy U by stating she is an early decision applicant. She then summarizes her qualifications as someone who has prepared academically, socially, and leadership-wise to make the most of the Ivy U experience – not just for herself, but also for her peers.
Overall critique: This is a solid essay by a student who’s clearly qualified to make the most of Ivy U’s resources. Deeper research into some more specific Ivy U programs and proposing ideas of her own to explore would turn this into a truly impressive essay.
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